


Exile Diary Day 40

by aretia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 17:05:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aretia/pseuds/aretia
Summary: Life gets pretty lonely when you’re the only living soul aboard a top-secret base. It’s a boring night for Ulaz until he finds out some shocking news from Thace.





	Exile Diary Day 40

**Author's Note:**

> Thulaz Week day 2: distance/solitude

Time was a blur. It had been about forty quintants since Ulaz had given up his position, maybe longer. What little he knew of what was going on in the rest of the universe was from reports from the Blade of Marmora’s scattered forces. He was reading the latest set of reports now, with only the xanthorium clusters outside the window to keep him company. 

While he was waiting for the information to download, Ulaz sent a message to Thace. The Blade of Marmora used an encrypted channel to send their reports, all of which passed through the Thaldycon communications base. Ulaz had made a sub-channel that only he and Thace could access, so that the officials couldn’t read their private messages. They couldn’t talk using voice or video or send pictures, but they could communicate through text, which was better than nothing. Thace had been wary of using it for non-work-related discussions at first, despite Ulaz insisting that it was safe even from Kolivan’s snooping, but over time Ulaz had worn him down. When heartfelt messages didn’t get a reply, descriptions of the reckless things he got up to while left to his own devices always did.

_Ulaz (02:15): I’m going to spin around in my swivel chair until I make myself sick because I’m bored. Text me so I won’t be bored._

He waited for a few doboshes just staring at the screen. He knew better than to expect Thace to reply right away. Thace was busy performing the duties of a Galra lieutenant and watching his back so he didn’t get caught. It might be too risky for him to chat at the moment. And they were long past the point in their relationship when he might interpret Thace’s silence as ignoring him. Still, he felt a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach, one that would only ease once he heard from Thace, and so there was nothing he could do but distract himself until then.

He poked around at his datapad for a while, then realized that his eyes were glazing over. Maybe a change of position would bring his energy back. He set the datapad down on the counter, and turned over so that he was sitting upside down in his swivel chair. He propped up his long legs atop the back of the chair, and rested his back against the seat, his head dangling off the edge. He placed one hand on the floor and pushed off so that he spun around in circles. The air current ruffling his hair was relaxing, as was the way the walls blurred in front of his eyes and his worried thoughts seemed to drift out of his head. He didn’t notice his shoulders sliding out of the chair until the spinning abruptly stopped because he had hit the floor. He slid his lower half out of the chair and lay there while the ceiling slowly rotated back into position. 

A notification came in on the datapad with a soft chime. Ulaz’s face lit up with a smile when he saw that the edges of the screen were glowing with the green light that indicated a message from Thace. He tried to reach his datapad on the counter from his position lying on the floor, but after scraping against it with his claws in vain for a few ticks, he realized there was no way to get it into his hand without risking dropping it and breaking it. He relented, stood up to grab the datapad, then sat down properly and opened the message.

_Thace (02:49): What are you doing up at this varga?_

Ulaz frowned. He had waited so long for a reply, and _that_ was all Thace wanted to know?

_Ulaz (02:50): Time is an illusion, Thace. I turned off the night cycles at the base long ago because they weren’t helpful to me. I may or may not have been up for the past twenty vargas compiling reports, since nobody bothers to do that themselves anymore._

_Thace (02:51): That’s not healthy. Don’t make me come over there to nag you about going to bed on time._

_Ulaz (02:52): Well, I’m a doctor, and from my professional opinion, I feel fine._

The snarky retort was at odds with the wide grin that was plastered on Ulaz’s face just from talking to Thace. He was grateful that Thace couldn’t see it. He had an image to maintain, after all. He had to pretend that he adapted well to the distance. It wasn’t all that different from when they were undercover on the Galra ship, he told himself, since they so rarely got to see each other. 

He knew he was lying to himself. The truth was that he had lived for those moments when he would smile at Thace across the mess hall. Now, he felt more lonely than he ever had since he had met Thace, who had been his closest companion for so many years.

_Ulaz (02:53): If it’s late enough where you are that you’re asking me that question, what are you doing up?_

_Thace (02:55): The usual. Big battle, had to be Prorok’s lackey and man the fleets, that sort of thing._

It was typical of Thace, of both of them, to minimize the work they did that was seemingly in service of the Empire. It helped them cope with the feeling that the atrocities they had a hand in almost outweighed the good they were trying to do. What wasn’t typical was how much the message left unsaid. Who were they battling? Thace would usually tell him that much. Something wasn’t right.

_Ulaz (02:56): Aren’t you at Central right now? Who would be attacking you there?_

_Ulaz (02:57): Was it Voltron?_

Ulaz could almost hear Thace sigh in the three little dots that appeared while he was typing his reply.

_Thace (03:00): Yes, it was. Don’t worry, they made it out._

_Ulaz (03:01): “Don’t worry”? Thace?!?!?! Tell me what happened!_

_Thace (03:08): I may or may not have snuck into the control room, stabbed some sentries, and shut down the solar barrier so that Voltron could escape._

Ulaz was so overwhelmed that he nearly flung his datapad across the room. Thace, the Blade of Marmora’s stealthy and careful Thace, had just betrayed the Empire in the most obvious way possible. And on top of that, he was so casual about it, mocking Ulaz’s phrasing from earlier. There were some things that should never be downplayed. Once Ulaz had composed himself enough to type, he unleashed his rage at Thace.

_Ulaz (03:08): THACE_

_Ulaz (03:09): why did you do that_

_Ulaz (03:09): you could have blown your cover_

_Ulaz (03:09): YOU COULD HAVE DIED_

Ulaz was still furiously typing out reprimands when Thace interrupted him.

_Thace (03:10): Now you know how I feel._

_Ulaz (03:10): Excuse me?_

_Thace (03:16): When you blew your cover to free the champion? When you stole a shuttle in our initiate days? I could give you a longer list but my fingers are tired. Honestly, Ulaz. You’re lucky I’m not dead already with the number of times you’ve given me a heart attack._

Ulaz sighed. Thace’s admission scared him to death, but it was no different from what Ulaz had done that had landed him in exile at this miserable base. What Thace did was reckless, and terrifying, and necessary, and _right_. 

Ulaz knew he probably felt worlds better than Thace had when he had woken up to an official report—a _report_ , Ulaz hadn’t even had the chance to warn him in private—that Ulaz had broken his cover and been reassigned. Ulaz thanked the stars that he got to be the first person Thace told. Even before Kolivan, though Thace would probably get in trouble for that.

_Ulaz (03:18): I understand. But aren’t I allowed to worry about you?_

_Thace (03:20): I’m sorry._

There was so much regret and vulnerability in those words that Ulaz wished he wasn’t just looking at a screen. He could almost see Thace’s frown and downcast eyes, his ears folded back, and Ulaz longed to pull him into his arms.

_Ulaz (03:22): Don’t be. I’m proud of you. Really. And I’m so glad you’re alive. It just worries me that you risked your life like that. They’re going to come after you now. I just…_

_Ulaz (03:23): Don’t get hurt, okay? Please. I don’t know what I would do without you._

_Thace (03:24): I’ll do my best not to. You stay safe too._

_Ulaz (03:24): I will._

_Thace (03:25): Now GO TO BED._

Ulaz chuckled at the words on the screen. Thace was so concerned, always taking every opportunity to care for him. Ulaz missed that. His smile quickly faded, however. His contact with Thace was so brief, and after hearing that he might have almost lost him, Ulaz didn’t want to let Thace go just yet. Ulaz sent a message that he hoped would buy him a few more doboshes of talking to Thace.

_Ulaz (03:26): But it’s so hard to fall asleep without you here._

Thace’s reply came quicker than expected, and made Ulaz clutch his hand to his heart.

_Thace (03:27): I know. It’s hard for me too. I wish you were here with me._

Ulaz stared at that message, tears brimming in his eyes, for a long moment until another one appeared, and his breath hitched in a single sob.

_Thace (03:28): But I want to go to bed, Ulaz. I’ve had a long day._

_Ulaz (03:29): You have. You deserve to rest. I’ll talk to you later, then._

_Thace (03:30): Goodnight._

Ulaz thought about sending one more message, an _I miss you_ or _I love you,_ before the light next to Thace’s contact name winked out. With it, the warmth that had welled up in Ulaz’s chest began to fade. He had set the thermostat in the base so that it was a warm enough temperature for him, but that didn’t help with the chill sinking into his bones. Thace was in danger, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Ulaz curled his knees up to his chest and turned sideways in the chair, bracing himself between the arm rests and leaning his head against the back. He held the datapad in his hands, scrolling up and down his conversation with Thace. He decided to listen to Thace and go to sleep as well.

He tucked the datapad against his chest, clutching it tightly in his hands. A small source of warmth. It didn’t compare to Thace’s arms wrapped around him, but it would have to do. He held onto it like he held onto the hope that Thace would make it back to him someday.

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by "40 Days" by Blessthefall. If you're wondering "can she write anything that doesn't have a lyric title?" the answer is no


End file.
